sleepinginmyhead

passport renewal, a rip off

I appreciate that i rant a fair bit on this blog, but it's my party and i'll cry if i want to. I need to renew my British passport as it has reached it's expiry date. I was astounded to find out the fees for renewal. Let's not forget that this is a compulsory document, required by law, and as such i must have one for my job. The cost for your first passport is £72, which seems pretty high to me. I appreciate that the passport office needs to perform background checks and prevent against fraud etc., but this seems like a bit of a sting. Even if we accept that paying for a first passport is OK, then why should we accept a renewal fee? Passports expire every ten years, and to renew mine is gonna cost me another 72 quid. This is ridiculous. Why should we have to pay for that?

If we use current census figures, there are 60587000 residents of the UK. If each of these people either applies for or renews their passport every ten years, then the UK passport office makes £43 million per year from issuing passports..... That's a fucking fortune!

Not happy.

back to the well

I DJ'ed for the fist time in ages on saturday, and to be honest i hated it. I'm a huge music fan and i like to DJ, as there's nothing better than hearing the music you love on a big sound system, but i forgot just how ill equipped some places are. On Saturday the venue that I (and some friends) were playing was very poor. When we arrived one audio channel didn't work, the headphone output was so quiet as to be useless, and the owner had relied on the trusty favourite of mounting the decks on foam, so making any scratching impossible. Add to that the bouncer's requests for R&B and it makes for a fairly miserable experience. When will club owners realise that it's not good enough to buy the kit an stick in in a booth? To get the best out of your club you have to maintain your kit, otherwise you should just put on a CD. Other than that, a good night had by all, there's some photos on my flickr link to the right.

what colour is hip hop?

I was listening to Brooklyn Radio online today. A colleague asked me what i was listening to, to which he replied, 'i don't like rap, that's black music'. Now i understand what he's saying, but it got me thinking. Whilst hip hop and rap is most definitely a black artform in origin, do we still need to refer to it as such? I really resent this sort of division and this got me to thinking... how multiracial is hip hop?

Right off the bat, let's get Vanilla Ice (and his UK equivalent 'snow') out of the way. Both pop acts, both ok as pop acts. The real meat of the argument obviously starts with the mould-breaking Beastie Boys. One of the most popular hip hop groups of all time, still innovative, and still great. Whilst we're covering the old guard, let's not forget Rick Rubin, a hugely creative force, and one of the founders of Def Jam. Rapping wise, we have a huge selection of great MC's to choose from. Starting with sage francis, El-P, Aesop Rock and Edan on the more progressive side, with the streets, Eminen and Ugly Duckling etc. representing the mainstream.

When we look at DJ's and producers the picture gets even stronger. Stones Throw records is undoubtedly one of the major forces in hip hop, representing J Dilla, Madlib, Guilty Simpson et al, and it was all started by Peanut Butter Wolf, a white guy from San Jose. The list of great 'non-black' DJ's is huge, including DJ shadow, Cut Chemist, Nu-mark, RJD2, DJ Ayres, Mark Ronson, oh and let's not forget, however humourous you may find him, Tim Westwood. The turntablist field is hugely dominated by Hispanic practitioners such as Q-Bert, Mixmaster Mike and Babu.

Outside the U.S., there are huge hip hop scenes in Germany, France, Scandinavia and Japan mostly populated by non-black rappers, DJ's and producers. The UK grime scene also has a huge number of white rappers, most of whom like to play their wares on london buses on tiny tiny speakers.

Whilst much of the current chart gunge is what forms many people's reference point for hip hop, it's worth remembering that much of the output of 50 cent, Chamillionaire, the Game, G-unit, Xzibit and R Kelly was produced by Scott Storch, a small Jewish guy from Nova Scotia.

Now i'm not saying that white is better than black, but it makes no sense labelling a music by colour. It's true to say that the number of black artists far outweighs the number of non-black artists, and they have produced a great deal of the best hip-hop, but all i'm saying is that it doesn't help anyone to be exclusionist about something so enjoyable as music.

In a world where the top golfer is black (tiger), the top racing driver is black (lewis), the best selling rapper is white (marshall), the best breakdancers are korean (extreme crew),does it make sense to label anything by colour anymore? You never know... the U.S. might even get a black president.

chris rock, how much?

I really like Chris Rock. I'm quite the fan. I read recently that he was coming to the UK for the first time ever to do a few live shows, so i naturally got quite excited. I found out that his London shows were to happen in Hammersmith, which is walking distance from my house, perfect. Now we all know how quickly these things sell out, so i was all prepared to pay a bit from a reseller, but i was astounded to find out how much the tickets were. The face value of the ticket is £35, which is a huge price to pay for a stand up show. Of course all of these went immediately, so i had a look on ebay. The price is currently running at about 60 or 70 quid a ticket: I'm therefore not going to be able to go and see him. Sure he's a massive star, and this is a rare appearance, but when you consider a large proportion of his material centres around his childhood, growing up poor in a poor neighbourhood, it smacks a bit. I don't want him to be a martyr, but keep accessible chris!

water please

Hey, do you remember back in the nineties, when Leah Betts died from ecstasy related symptoms, how there was a big scandal about clubs not giving out free water? I remember it changed quite a few things, and i also remember seeing little tap symbols next to club listings in mixmag, showing clubs where water was freely distributed. Nice.
We all know water is good for us, and we should drink it often, and pubs tend not to worry too much about giving it out. I was in a pub in kensington on monday and i saw this sign:

Apologies for the poorness of the picture, but i didn't want to annoy the other punters with my flash. It reads: "please note, we do not serve tap water unless it is an accompaniment to other drinks and ordered at the same time as the other drinks!".... What... sorry? It's coming to something when you can't get a glass of water without buying some booze first. I was trying to understand where the sign came from, and i can only think that every now and then, they might have had people just coming in, drinking a water and then leaving. But serously, were there enough of them to warrant such a mardy sign? And anyway, can't you just let people have a drink, hey, they might buy some crisps.... no need to be so hostile.

private eye hits the nail

I have recently started reading Private Eye magazine again after a few years hiatus, and boy am i glad. It's very very funny, and exposes the media and government for the manipulative incompetant swines they are. To top that, it's a bargain at £1.50. Try to get a copy if you can. Some of you might remember my post on the Madeleine McCann news orgy from earlier this year, and in this fortnight's Private Eye, they simply show a selection of Daily Express covers from this month. You see, pictures can say a thousand words after all. (I particularly like the later ones, with the double whammy of Madeleine and Diana, woohoo!)

click pic for big version

smokers are fucking disgusting

It goes without saying that i'm not a smoker, never have been, but i think smokers are disgusting. I know it's all personal choice etc. but who cares, your filthy habit affects my life so i'm allowed an opinion. Recently the indoor smoking ban came into force in the UK, and it's been great. I can go to the pub now without the risk of lung cancer, and without having to go home stinking. I actually quite enjoy watching the smokers huddled outside tugging on a fag in the rain. I actually saw some fella lose his seat because he went outside for a smoke.... brilliant. Anyway, that's removed one aspect of their filthy lifestyle from my life, but i'm writing about another aspect of the habit which i find grim. Working in the city, i see a lot of wealthy, well dressed people, obviously concerned with self appearance, happily throwing their fag ends and fag packets onto the floor like it's not even trash. For some reason cigarette ends are ok to lob on the floor, and some people even flick it in an arc, to maximise their 'cool'. The floor around my office is covered in fag butts and matches, it's grim. Put it in the bin. If i threw my sweet wrappers on the floor in an overtly casual gesture, i think people would take offence, i'd probably get a few comments, and rightly so. In Tokyo, littering is seen as the height of rudeness. As such the streets are completely clean, and you really notice.

So i'm calling on everyone here, if you do smoke, don't throw your fag ends on the floor, and if you don't smoke, pull people up on it. Be warned though, i saw a woman lob her fag into the street right in front of me, so i said 'you finished with that?'. She shot me a look like i'd told her to go fuck herself... I guess that's addicts for ya.

cynical food

We should all eat healthier. I don't care how much of an F-Plan motherfucker you think you are, you should eat healthier. When I go to the shops, i now look for all the 'Low-Fat', 'Low Salt' stuff as i'm sure the rest of you do, and boy, do the manufacturers know it. There's more 'healthy' products out there than i can handle, but something caught my eye last week. You have to go some way to call a chocolate digestive biscuit healthy right? Those bad boys are packed full of sugar, syrup, salt and dipped in chocolate, but on the packet, bold as brass it says 'Made with Whole Grain'. How cynical is that! It might be true, but you have to eat a whole load of shit to get to the good stuff. They aren't the only ones. I had a look on the Kellogs site,and they sell loads of really bad food, but only shout about the good stuff in it. Check out these for example, on the box it says they're fortified with vitamins and minerals, and made from whole grain, yeah sure, but the first three ingredients (and therefore the most important) are sugar, flour and marshmallows. Check out pop tarts too. We know they're shitty, surely. They are the dirtiest snack food ever, but kelloggs waste no time telling us they provide seven essential vitamins and minerals, and contain zero grams of trans fat. Fine, but each one is 10% of your daily Fat and 15% of your carbs.

It's a bit like introducing someone to Hitler and saying, "he's got really lovely hair".

how much is too much?

Now this might be very contentious, but so what.

I’m sick of the Madeleine McCann story. Up front I want to say that it is a terrible thing if she has been abducted, and I’m not making light of the situation, but it’s the ridiculous behaviour of the media and the public which riles me. We know that 20 odd days ago she went missing (we don’t actually know that she was abducted, but I suppose it’s a fair guess). Since then the following things have happened:

The parents have had a meeting with the pope
The pope has blessed a framed photograph of the child
Topshop owner Sir Phillip Green has loaned the parents his private jet.
The sky news website has created a ‘madeleine’ section alongside ‘world news’, ‘politics’, ‘business’ and ‘money’.
Martin Johnson the former England rugby captain has set up an appeal fund for the family which now stands at over £374,000.
There is a Madeleine McCann page on Myspace, a group on Facebook and a page on Wikipedia
There is a £2.6 million reward for information which leads to her discovery
Footballers Christiano Ronaldo, John Terry, Paulo Ferreira, David Beckham, Nuno Valente, Manuel Fernandes, Phil Neville and Neil Lennon have all individually appeared on TV to make appeals
A video was played to fans in Glasgow before the UEFA cup final
A video was played in the stadium at half time during the FA cup final
Liverpool FC posed with a banner before the Champions League final
The England cricket team wore yellow ribbons during their test match against the west indies
A picture of Madeleine was also shown throughout the entire test match.
Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and John Prescott have all made personal statements regarding the disappearence.
An official website has been set up to find Madeleine
There was a national one minutes silence organised for May 21st.
The Sun has flown a psychic to Portugal to look for Madeleine
The News of the World has made a 10metre inflatable billboard and is touring with it around Europe

And much much more.

Now, as I said, it’s a terrible thing if she has been taken, but I am starting to agree with some commentators, that the response has been mawkish and over zealous. The story has had little real content since it’s beginning, with no strong leads and a couple of misguided arrests. It has been headline news every day for nearly a month, overshadowing some major world events, including a change in Prime Minister.

I am aware that I should be careful with my words, so I will use the words of portugal’s ‘Publico’ paper, that “the reaction is due to the fact that Madeleine is white, English and the daughter of doctors”.

Just so you know, there were 798 child abductions in Britain in the last yearly period for which figures are available (2003-2004). Since the disappearance of Madeleine on May 3, another 450 young people (under 18) have gone missing in Britain.

Gordon's Jin

So it looks like that Gordon Brown will become our next prime minister. Woah! don't worry, this isn't a political posting.

Wanting to learn a bit about him, i went on the trusty Wikipedia to read up on his history, and discovered a weird trend. First things first, Gordon isn't his first name, his first name is actually James. This would imply that he didn't really like the name James, or that the link to the Godfather of Soul might mean he wouldn't be taken seriously, but for whatever reason, he doesn't use the name James.

What's weird is how he has named his three kids. His first child was named Jennifer Jane, his second child was named John, and most weirdly of all, his third child was named James.... That's right, all three kids were named J. Brown, and one of them is called James Brown, a name which our chancellor himself had, and changed... Weird huh?

Oh, and to top that, his dad was called John!